The Post-Apocalyptic Workout

What the hell is this?  I'll tell you what it is:

Of course, this little social experiment depends on a whole host of factors: time, money, a true lack of actual nightmare scenarios, that sort of thing.  It's not about fitting into a size two or filming myself eating bugs (not gonna happen) or going into full "Survivorman" mode.  It's about learning how to carry my own weight - figuratively and literally.  I've created a list that's linked under "the workout" there to your left.  It's by no means an exhaustive list, and I imagine I'll be adding to it substantially as the year wears on.

I've envisioned this as sort of an audience-participation project, so please share your ideas, your criticisms, your input, your knowledge, and if you want to take this journey with me, please do.

 

Comments

[will]

Let me be the first to comment on the brilliance of this plan. I look forward to surviving the apocalypse with you.

[Greg]

this is really really cool.

seriously.

it's equal parts creative, funny, and informative, and I love the banner at the top of the blog.

lighter lit because....you rock!

:-)

[Joelle]

I, too, am working on disencouraging cannibalism, so I'm right there with you.

I'm looking forward, though, to the requisite "purifying your own urine" episode of this survival series. ;-)

[the slackmistress]

@joelle: the slackmistress' urine post-apocalyptic skin care products coming soon to a Thunderdome near you!

[meredith]

good heavens almighty, this is a stellar idea, you are my hero. well, you will be soon, I suppose.

[Piglet]

i love you. yes, i do. BRAVO! this is SUCH a cute idea and by god the world better catch on and TAKE HEED.

i immediately starting scanning my brain for useful skills and the first one that came to mind is that i can swallow fire without burning myself.

i am certain i have more, i'll share as they come to me.

[theotherbear]

Hmm. But if I were choosing the 10 people to go in the boat, I would surely pick the person who could organise a fun cocktail party over the nurse or someone more sensible.

[Michele]

Good God woman this is genius.

I could feed a small village for a week. In fact I think I may be on the menu in some villages.

Hmmm...I can load and use firearms my ex-husband and boyfriend were Hunters. Oddly I named my son that, freudian or what?

hmmm.....I'm going to have to think about this.

[Super-S]

Brilliant idea. Love the sound effects on the video. However, have you and Will seen Shaun of the Dead? Those guys didn't know how to do anything but down a few pints at the pub, and yet they saved the world (well, England) from a zombie revolution! What I mean is, while learning to load a shot gun is well and good, your cocktail party skills might also be just as handy.

[the slackmistress]

@Super-S: I have! But the zombie scenario isn't the only one that I'm prepping for, I actually expect/hope/plan on learning some relevant skills here...

[A.M.]

Let me be the first to mention - there's a support community for you out there already: http://zombiehunters.org/

if there's a large enough group near you, they will have first aid courses, bug out weekends, etc.

[Jason L.]

I have to agree with the above comment. Since 2003, Zombie Squad has been holding seminars, disaster fairs, and providing information vital to your survival in case of catastrophe, undead or otherwise. There are a lot of good tips on preparing your Bug Out Bag, basic survival skills, charity organizations, and other information.

Here's a great article about us on the Riverfront Times website:
http://www.riverfronttimes.com/2007-02-07/news/doomsday-disciples/

[Kara]

Cool- does this mean a workout video and eating plan are coming? Because people who throw great cocktail parties tend to be that rare mix of frivilous and pragmatic and I want to learn from somebosy like you.

Sadly, I think I'm likely to be eaten as well because all I really know how to do is teach kids to read and once the Zombies take over we'll need books for fuel.

[Karen]

This is a brilliant idea. All of it. The whole thing. I would love to learn how to fire a shotgun. And get leaner, too. But the gun is the best part.

[slackmom]

I can't believe you don't know how to weld. Baba knew how to weld. I know how to weld. We are a family of female welders. Bet you can pick it up in 3 seconds flat.

[the slackmistress]

Dammit, mom, no one taught me how to weld. You people forced me to make a living using my BRAIN! Which could turn me into food.

I can't believe my mom is a Secret Welder.

@AM: Thanks! and @Jason: I will definitely check it out!

@Kara: My plan is coming, see today's post!

[Preston From]

This is an awesome idea!!!

You might want to add load and fire a rifle to your repertoire, they have distance which can be helpful it taking out a couple of the zombies BEFORE they get to you.

also, maybe some sort of distilling skills? alcohol has more uses than just drinking! (for example, making fuel...i think?) or treating wounds or making HUGE FUCKING FIRES TO BURN THE LITTLE BASTARD ZOMBIES DOWN!

breaking and entering? if the worlds gone mad, no one's around to stop you from taking the supplies you need, provided you can get to them...

this is incredibly awesome! i look forward to more!

and...why don't you pitch this to the discovery channel or something? this could be a legitimately funny and informative show!

[justJENN]

I freakin' hate zombies.

[Linguista]

I freakin' laughed out loud at this video. I love it. I'm along for the ride.

[Liat]

This sounds fun!

And err...also very practical.

I think I'll join.

[Boski]

Zombies can go eat it.

This is such a great idea Slack Mistress. I am not really down with zombies eating my brains. I am tired of being the doughy guy whose only talent is remembering useless information.

[penny]

ahah. awesome! I found your blog thru my friend Dan, and I think this is a great idea not to mention a meaningful motivator. I think you might want to learn how to weld a metal helmet so the zombies have a harder time getting to your brains. maybe some stunt driving, (how to drive a HUGE truck or RV), yes to the building a fire and how to tie a tourniquet-since zombies go for the bloody and wounded first.