Day 53: Half-Assed.

I have returned from the other side of the country tanner, fatter, and a wee bit achier as I spent ~6 hours crammed into a seat made for an anorexic midget, not to mention the spill I took when I was sprinting across the Houston Airport to make my connecting flight to Los Angeles. 

The second my Fluevog hit the overly-waxed patch of tile that I knew I'd be flying ass-over-teakettle momentarily. If I was in a movie they'd slam to a slow-motion-montage: a baby crying, a burst of light; kids on swingsets; a faucet, dripping; a flower opens, then closes, and then back to real time where my last thought was savetheMacBooksavehteMacBooksavetheMacBook. My body instinctively cocooned my precious computer cargo as my ass slammed to the floor.

Ow.

When I got back from the airport, I should have gently stretched it out, then taken a wee bit of a walk to get everything moving and limber. 

Instead, I installed myself on the couch, curled up next to the HusbandThing, and caught up on my TiVo.

Which brings me to this morning.  The hip's a little tighter, although the ass isn't so sore.  I'm scheduled to head out to the gym and do a 28-minute run. 

What I should do is warm up a little longer, maybe schedule a shorter jog today and a longer jog tomorrow.  I should take a day to stretch and work out the tightness, as it's just muscular and was compounded by a) sitting in an airplane seat and b) totally biting it on the airport floor. 

So what do I do?

I head out to the gym, walk the instructed 'brisk, 5-minute warmup' and then start to jog.

At the five minute mark, the muscles around my right hip and asscheek decide that if I won't listen to reason that they're going on an all-out protest, and not one of those non-violent protests where people light candles and hum and play hackysack and welcome you int the friendship circle, no, this is one of those protest where they get out the billy clubs and  tear gas and the attack dogs.

It looked a little something like this:

Okay, I didn't actually fall off the treadmill, but, y'know, I could've.  I walked for a bit, then gently stretched the cramp.  It still needs some work - thankfully I've got the Foam Roller of Doom (tm).  So while all y'all are showing off your "mobility" with your whole "walking on two legs," I will be rolling my right hip and corresppnding asscheek over a firm, coffee-can shaped piece of foam and swearing at the top of my lungs.

Kinky...just not the good kind.

Comments

[Fearsclave]

I feel your pain. Yanked something in my left calf a week ago tomorrow, and was gimping around like mad for a few days. It's feeling a lot better, so I might try running again on the weekend.

[notoriouslig]

It is not "of Doom," I believe it is the greatest thing ever invented. It's the only thing that keeps me running. Good luck.

[Alyce Smythee]

Be careful with that ass!
xo

[aliastaken]

Uh-oh, this doesn't bode well. Pre-Apocalyptic Zombies probably wax floors at airports for just this effect!

[will]

But what was ON the TiVo? Why blog if you won't list the contents of your TiVo.

[Greg]

I once tripped and fell while carrying my Powerbook and I did a similar thing...I ended up getting hurt way worse than if I'd just let it happen and destroy my mac...but I'm in the "pry my mac from my cold dead fingers" club so the massive knee injury was worth it!

btw, dunno if you're a fan of Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends but if you haven't seen the Halloween one, it's pretty funny. This part made me think of the zombie workout:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=5G4ErBBL6l0