• What use does a post-apocalyptic world have for a television writer who throws amazing cocktail parties? None. The following pages will (hopefully) document my attempt to become a useful member of society in case that whole zombie thing happens. Started 1/2008, abandoned 3/2008, and back 3/2011

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« Intermission, Part Two. | Main | Day 101: Where, Where, the Hell is SlackMistress? »

April 05, 2008



Oh I hear you, I trained for a freaking marathon and am still fat (I opted for the give up booze instead of the give up sugar deprivation plan) And in the one month since then my fitness has completely disappeared. I'm slowly bringing the running back but doing a lot of walking.

Being that I am fat and old I'm accustomed to being invisible in L.A. What startles me is whenever I get more than 200 miles away from here and notice that I get hit on and checked out. It's like remembering I am a woman.


I did the whole Weight Watchers thing a few years ago, and they emphasized the idea that a lot of dieters aren't eating enough food, and that causes their metabolisms to slow down and hold on to the weight. So, some of the people actually had to start eating more in order to lose weight. Very counterintuitive.

From the research I've done, adding more weight lifting to your workout is supposed to help you make it through a plateau. But what the hell do I know? I consider couch surfing a sport. Unfortunately, now that I have attained professional status at this, I can never compete in the Olympics.

Amanda Brown

I hate this sort of stuff, too. Whenever I take up running, I end up gaining weight since I believe that my 30 minute jog earned me a dozen cookies.
It's so hard. When I was doing Weight Watchers I wasn't really exercising much at all and managed to lose weight (while subsisting on blueberries and whole wheat toast and the occasional veggie burger, mind you...the calorie intake probably hovered around 1100 a day so I was pretty hungry). So maybe just stop working out, only eat blueberries, and then once you've whittled down to your goal weight, THEN start working out to tone up. Just hope the zombies hold off till then.


I do a fair bit of hiking on the Appalachian Trail, and run into my fair share of thru-hikers, the people who are trying to go from Georgia to Maine. They burn 4000 - 6000 calories a day, which is very hard to sustain. As a result, the body thinks that it is being starved, and goes into emergency mode. So while the guys get really skinny on the trail, the gals tend to get bigger, probably due to their metabolism slowing.


I'm a late-30's guy who's currently on the South Beach diet, and I've just lost 19 lbs in 6 weeks, without working out. You don't say what you *are* eating, except to say it's not cake. I like South Beach because the food's healthy, and after you've bought a couple of books, it's free. The only downside is that I need to be somewhat organized since most packaged foods have a too-high Glycemic Index.


OK, I know your going to get tons of advice and I will by no means be insulted if you ignore mine as well but I do know something of working out, and getting fit. You need to quit counting calories and start observing less sugars, starches and fats. You also need lot's of protein to feed those hungry muscles your developing. Lastly the more muscle encourages more fat burning, it works, my ex lost over 80 pounds and got in shape doing it. You have all the right ideas and mindset, fitness not weight, strength, endurance and not how you might look in a bikini (though I must admit your fabulous). Oh one last thing which I am sure you know, it never happens overnight and half the time you get results and don't know it until an acquaintance points it out. So stay dilligent and keep at it, you will prevail.


A friend of mine pointed me to your blog since it's right up my alley.
I ran my first marathon at 40 because, why else, zombies were suddenly getting faster in the movies and better safe than sorry. After 3 marathons, I took a year off running due to illness and have started again since my wife wants to run her first at 39 and wants me to coach her. This weekend she did a personal best in a 10K of 1:03:48, after swearing she could never run a 10 minute mile (2 of the 10K miles were under 10 minutes)and she averaged 10:15 over the course. Judging from your photos you have similar body types. She won't even weigh herself, and I can't seem to lose pounds, but my face is thinner and my shirts are looser. Now that she's running I guess I'll have to stop calling her bait, and who's going to hold my "Keep Going Zombies Are Chasing You!" sign at my races?
You're doing all the right things, keep at it and we'll see you at the end of the world.


How do you manage to count calories so precisely? I think I'm counting them, but am not really sure. Even the top of your scale (1200 calories) is practically no food! I'm just trying to lose a few pounds here (those last 5-7, dammit) and the only way I've been able to do it so far is by using the scale at the gym which I know is off by at least four pounds!

the slackmistress

@aliastaken: I weigh & measure food. If I make something with multiple ingredients, I add 'em all together and then divide by portion size.

the slackmistress

@aliastaken: I weigh & measure food. If I make something with multiple ingredients, I add 'em all together and then divide by portion size.


You're kicking ass and taking names, a lot faster than me, let me tell you. I've got damn near no increase in running time, or general endurance. I don't get as winded. That's about it.

So keep up the good work, lady.

Also, babies probably love your face.


The things that come to my mind is that your calories are too low and your protein requirements are probably not being met (especially on any day you are eating under 1,000 calories). It also might be wise to look at the composition of your carbohydrates.

At 10 calories per pound you should be eating around 1,600 calories per day. Even at 8 calories per pound, which is pretty extreme for someone who is exercising every day, you're talking 1280 calories -- 900 calories is just plain scarey. Your body needs the nutrition to be able to run and lift weights.

Carbohydrates should be low GI, which unfortunately cuts out cake. Fruits and green vegetables are good sources of carbohydrates.

Omega-3 fatty acid supplementation might also be a good idea to get adequate "good fat" intake.

Mistress Krista still has reasonable nutritional advice on her site (I'm sure you've read it, but a refresher might be good if you're frustrated).

My nutritionist's site has a good primer on omega-3s if you're interested:

If you are not sure of the glycemic index and load of the carbs you're eating, the best database on the web is out of the University of Sydney:

A sad fact of life is the older one gets the more one tends towards insulin resistance. At almost 55 I gave up most starches quite a few years ago. I rarely even eat cake on my birthday. However, it's a small price to pay for easier weight maintenance and fortunately I like fruit and green veggies.

Hope it works out for you.

the slackmistress

Barbara, I totally flaked (ha.) on fish oil. THANK YOU for reminding me.

I need to jack up the protein as well. I'm going to overhaul things a bit and see if that helps. But I so appreciate your input.


Kick ass on not giving up :D I feel you on the hypothyroidism...I have it as well. It doesn't make it easy to lose weight.

I second the idea that you may not be eating enough. I find that if I eat more while working out i lose faster than doing what ultimately amounts to starvation.


You skipped bday cake, which impresses the hell outta me... although it left me with extra pieces tempting me all week long, so...

Educated Savage

Wow! I just found your blog through the Zombie Squad site and I feel like I've found a soul mate! The number 1 membership reason listed on my Bally's membership is "Zombie Apocalypse"! Even IF I never lose the weight, I want to survive! I even made the Linda Hamilton comment to my boyfriend a few weeks ago. I'll probably never get my body fat that low, but it's still a worthy goal!

I'm also excited (and sympathetic) that you haven't seen any progress, either. I've chopped my caloric intake in half, given up soda and deserts, increased the fruits and veggies, given up pasta, started going to the gym for 7.5 hours a week across three days, and have not lost a single pound. But I can run for 30 minutes now and speed walk for another 30 - and that's important!

My personal trainer says (and I imagine it may be true for you too) that when body composition reaches a certain point, the fat will fly off!

Anyways - I just wanted to let you know that I'm cheering you on and I'm going through it with you, too!


"Turning Back the Hands of Time" by John Emmett is absolutely against counting calories! If you eat too few calories, your body literally clicks into survival mode (like you said) and won't budge on the scale.

You could literally eat 3000+ calories a day (complex carbs & other GOOD calories) and LOSE fat, gain muscle! NO kidding. My husband, who's yo-yoed for years on the starvation diet, tried it. And it WORKED! You're already on the right track by cutting out sugar! That's one of the main principles in this book.
Good Luck!

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