The Post-Apocalyptic Workout List

The skill list has gotten a bit unwieldy, so I've organized it by Basic, Intermediate, Advanced and Elite Tasks.  What qualifies as Basic or Elite, is in the eye of the beholder, and in this case that eye is mine.  Some things I have a hard time wrapping my little civilian brain around. 

That's not to say that all Basic Tasks will be completed before I move on to Advanced Tasks.  It depends on time and the resources available to me.  If one of the following is within your area of expertise,  you're in the Southern California area and you're feeling charitable, send me an email.   

My current eight-week plan can be found here.

THE BASIC LIST:

• get leaner (disencourage cannibalism)
• get stronger
• do a pull-up/lift bodyweight
• get faster (outrun zombies)
• basic first aid
• CPR (adult, child & infant)
• be prepared (emergency food, first aid, water)
• be prepared (tools, booze, radio)
• basic construction
• cooking over campfire
• basic mending & sewing
• growing food
• storing food
• purchase bike
• bike safety & maintenance
• orienteering 
• fire safety
• basic veterinary first aid
• learning to drive a manual transmission
• relaxation techniques/yoga
• swimming/holding breath
• knot skills/making rope

INTERMEDIATE TASKS:

• advanced first aid
• be able to run with a Daisy the Wonderdog strapped to me
• figure out way to strap Daisy the Wonderdog to me
• gun safety & maintenance
  
  
• load & fire handgun
• load & fire rifle
  
  
• load & fire shotgun
• metalworking/welding
• rock climbing
• woodchopping  
• sledgehammering  
• soapmaking  
• farm animal keeping/care
• horseback riding
• archery/crossbow skills
• starting/building a fire sans matches
• motorcycle riding
• marathon walking
• hand-to-hand combat/self-defense
• building rudimentary shelter
• foraging/identifying edible plants
• gather/purify water
• diplomacy
• group disaster training

DISCLAIMER!

Comments

[libi]

knife throwing is always a handy postapocalyptic skill.

[Gnat!]

Hey, this looks fun! I just took a kettleball class today for the first time, but all that might be useful for might be clobbering people with bowling ball-esque items. Perhaps woodchopping or basic sledgehammering as a workout? Or heck, use a chainsaw? Learning morse code? Making soap?

[the slackmistress]

I was thinking shovelglove might be a cheap and easy AND useful workout:
http://www.shovelglove.com/

Soapmaking and woodchopping, also excellent.

Libi, I like knifethrowing, but I almost killed Older SlackBrother J. joking around with that one day (the knife slipped!) Maybe for the advanced class...

[libi]

Ah, I understand a healthy aversion to knife throwing, then. Orienteering is always useful...

[Greg]

oh you should totally have crossbow skillz in the workout.

many crossbows can be had for a reasonable price, and not all are the medieval type. A friend of mine got the more pistol-like one with the zombie killing smaller arrows and it's really good for urban use as well as being easier to conceal or keep with you whilst carrying beloved dogs and the like

this is s o cool.

[the slackmistress]

@libi: added!

@greg: added, and thank you!

[Vix]

Shit, the post-apocalypse is when we'll need cocktail parties the most!

Still, worthy goals! I would do any of these with you.

I would add "bike maintenance." Very useful. I need to learn this, too. I have the little multi-tool, the spare tubes ... and buying those was as far as I've gotten.

[L.Bo]

I love this idea!I'd add ~horse whispering (or at least breaking and riding)('cause it's difficult to get Zombies to do the work for you), ~ pottery making, ~basic animal husbandry (for the chicken and goat keeping)...

I saw in a pet store a leash with a giant loop at the end instead of a hand sized one... it was to be worn over the shoulder like an oversized purse/rucksack. would that help with the wonderdog attachment?

[Elizabeth]

oh, don't forget the final step: the haircut, i'm pretty sure it's vital to the entire workout. And being able to fashion one outfit into proper clothing and shoes... important.

[the slackmistress]

@elizabeth: haircuts and fashion maintenance isn't a problem, alas, that's one of the few skills that I *do* posses!

[Zoo Keeper]

Damn, I wished I lived in LA. I could help train you in a lot of the things listed. Firearms, mending/sewing, cooking over a campfire, growing/canning food, animal first aid, livestock training/keeping, horseback riding...I never realized I had so many skills that could be useful in a post-apocalyptic world. Best of luck in your training.

[Plisskin]

Don't forget being able to clean and maintain those weapons you'll load and fire.

And you might reconsider hunting and prepping meat because if you're on the run from a horde of zombies, there may not be much time to stop and grow food. Or much time to find the seeds. Or it could be a bad season for it.

Also, close quarters combat with and without a gun or knife. You never know about zombies or looters busting in on you.

Purchasing, using, running with some sort of body armor and a pack of your gear (and dog).

[Dave]

May I suggest aquiring the ability to hot wire a car? In some of the post-apocalyptic TV shows and movies, the guy with the car wins. You never know when you'll have to make the inevitable trek across country to the last human outpost.

And with your newfound welding skills you can fasten a kick-ass zombie smashing grill to the front of the first Prius you find. A Humvee might seem better suited to protecting you from highway pirates, but when you've got places to be, you'll wish you were getting that 60 MPG. The movies never get this right. How likely are you to continually stumble upon the secret human resistance operated gas stations? I guess Mad Max wouldn't be nearly as cool in a Toyota.

I'd also suggest lock picking. When people leave their house to escape the zombie horde or to run around screaming in the streets, they lock the door, and in doing so, lock up their food, their supplies, and their porn stash. All essential to getting by. You could knock the door down or blow it up with your other newfound skills, but you may want to be able to lock it behind you.

[con_girl]

knife sharpening

Rock climbing - how many times are people trapped by zombies/desperadoes/fanatics at the edge/base of a cliff? If you can climb you can escape!

Can you swim? Rivers are often a problem.

[con_girl]

Sigh, apparently I need to add "reading lists" to mine.

You do have climbing there. Strike my comment.

[JD]

I learned to weave, spin, sew, crochet and knit for this very reason. I think those are more "living after threat is over" kind of skills but post-apocalyptic none the less.

[Gojiro]

What a great idea! If you haven't already read Max Brooks's books (The Zombie Survival Guide and World War Z), I recommend them both for useful survival tips and skill sets.

Also, "disencourage"? Why not "discourage"? Not picking on your word choice; just curious.

[Ink Tea]

I'm with Dave. Breaking and entering (lockpicking) skills will be useful to a survivor/scavenger. You may not have the time find it safe to remain in one area long enough to grow your own food, and things that are less easy to produce (medicines, sneakers, guns, ammunition) will need to be procured somehow.

[Topps]

I think you have to also prepare for climate changes - either as the cause of the Apocalypse / Zombie uprising. Or just from changes in the planet due to eventual loss of plant/animal life (assuming A. phenomenon isn't limited to humans and B. you live long enough to see those changes)

So desert or cold weather survival training would be helpful.

[Karen]

Might want to also learn how to swim underwater/hold your breath for extended periods of time. One of those escape routes might take you through an underwater pipeline.

Aww, participants are limited to the Los Angeles area? What about people following along in other cities?

[Guy]

Bike safety? When the time comes and zombies are invading your city, I doubt a bike helmet and properly signaling turns is going to be your primary concern ;)

[Chris Kreitsch]

Small arms make to much noise and crossbows take a long time to reload. Learn how to swing a bat properly and maybe sword use (that is using it without getting it stuck).

[Chris Kreitsch]

Ok sorry I'm off on a rant and I'm waiting to go out for the night. Foraging is essential, you may not eat bugs but nature supplies a vast variety of sustaining foods that you can eat on the move. The problem is knowing which you can and can't and where their likely to be based on you region. For instance cacti are a great temporary source of water. Making electricity would become an eventual requirement, not to make a joke but afore mentioned bike and a magnetic winding and you have electricity. Ok I'll stop and behave now.

[the slackmistress]

@Chris: I played baseball, so swinging a bat isn't a problem.

@Karen: Everyone can play along! I just meant if they wanted to in person. See today's post, I'll have a monthly goal list up by Monday!

@Plisskin: the running with the extra weight (body armor/dog) is a good advanced move, love it.

@Zookeeper: Well, if all else fails, I just head over to your house. ;)

@Gojiro: I knew someone would ask. I just like the way it sounds and the parallel rhythm of the syllables. I know. I'm a dork.

@con_girl: I can swim, but I could always swim better...

[John Morton]

Learning how to gather and purify water would be high on my list. It probably comes under foraging, I suppose.